Chapters Transcript Video World AIDS Day 2020 Townhall World AIDS Day TownhallOriginally Broadcast: December 1, 20205:30pm – 7:00pm ET we cannot know where we're going until we know where we have been from beginning. There have been unimaginable hardships. But as a community we have persevered, living for the moments of hope and strength that light our way forward to leave HIV in the past. Since the outset of the HIV epidemic be faced discrimination way faced indifference on worse way have faced fear. But we realized that there is nothing more powerful than making ourselves scene and making ourselves heard. A za community we acted up way thought stigma with science way combated hate with love way got toe work, pushing for progress. There were setbacks on there were triumphs, but in all endeavors there was always hope, hope for more inclusion, hope for more prevention, hope for dedicated leadership Okay from across the world to our backyards. We've made great progress since the early days of the epidemic, but there is still mawr to do and we will not stop until we see the age of HIV come to an end. So many of us who live with HIV never imagined a time when we could love without fear. This global community led movement is strengthening all of our efforts, bringing us closer to ending the epidemic and stealing hope and forever changing what it means to love and to live without any fear. Yeah, welcome to the Gilead Sciences Town Hall in observance of the 32nd annual World AIDS Day. As we pause today to remember all those who have been impacted by HIV and AIDS since the start of the epidemic, we take heart in the resilience, determination and innovation that continues to characterize the response toe HIV throughout the community. From the very beginning, our common goal has been to help improve the lives of those affected by HIV. It's what inspires all of us every day as members of the community, as healthcare providers, as advocates, as activists, we know it will take the continued commitment off all of us working together, toe put programs in place that reduce disparities, correct common misperceptions and erase the stigma that stands in the way of people knowing their status and engaging in care. Today, our panel off talented writers and activists will relate their own experiences and share examples off how conversations can help shape the understanding of HIV and its impact on the community. Thank you for observing World AIDS Day with us. And now I would like to introduce the one the only Our moderator, Shirley Ralph, a Tony nominated actress and passionate HIV and AIDS advocate. Miss Ralph founded the Diva Foundation in 1990 as a living memorial to the many friends she lost the AIDS. The Diva Foundation has worked for three decades to break the silence around HIV AIDS, erase HIV related stigma and encourage people to get tested in order to know their HIV status. Miss Ralph, my friend, Thank you for being with us today. Thank you, Rashaad. Thank you very much for that wonderful introduction. Mm. Well, everybody, I thank all of you for joining us here today because today we're here to have a conversation. Ah, conversation about how we can sustain the commitment, our commitment to helping end the HIV epidemic. On this day, World AIDS Day, we take time to remember the millions of people that we have lost as a result of HIV and AIDS. We also pledged our support to all those individuals who are living with HIV. I'd like to begin by acknowledging the impact HIV has had on communities across this country and around the globe. First, how about the global picture? Since 2010, new HIV infections have declined 23% and AIDS related mortality has declined by 39%. Nevertheless, in 2019, 1.7 million people were newly infected with H I V. 38 million were living with HIV. 690,000 people died. Huh? Of AIDS related illnesses in the United States between 2014 and 2018, HIV diagnosis declined overall by 7% but new HIV diagnosis remained steady approximately 38,000 each year, 38,000 each year. Importantly, HIV continues to have a disproportionate impact among men who have sex with men, black and African American communities, Latin X communities, transgender people and people living in the southern states of these United States. To accelerate the process, the progress that has been made, we must work together to address the health disparities in communities impacted by HIV, as well as the social and economic factors that underlie these disparities. And we must confront head on the stigma and discrimination based on age, race, ethnicity, sex or gender that continue to keep people out of care. Together we can change the story of HIV. Tonight we're gonna have a conversation, a conversation that is structured around reflections on the concept of language, identity and history. Now here we have a quote from Langston Hughes that speaks to the concerns off the artists in the Harlem Renaissance. I love Langston Hughes, these artists as they celebrated African American creative innovations like the blues, jazz and literary works that directly engaged the lives of African Americans. The power of language. Here's the quote. An artist must be free to choose what he does or she does, certainly. But they must also never be afraid to do what they might choose to do. Uh, love that Langston Hughes leading with resilience. It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize except and celebrate those differences. And that is so good. I've just got to read it again. It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize except and celebrate those differences. Audrey Lorde, as we think about the power of language, we also want to reflect on the value of recognizing and celebrating our many identities and the importance off incorporating diverse voices into the work that we do, renewing our commitment. The HIV community has made tremendous progress since the beginning of the HIV epidemic, the 19 eighties mhm that marked the beginning of the public face of the epidemic, with AIDS entering public awareness early in the decade and the initial community response to what was at first thought to be a mysterious disease affecting gay men. In the nineties, individuals and communities impacted by HIV continued to organize in response to the challenge that HIV and AIDS were presenting organize. That's very important. The two thousands presented improvements in HIV testing and treatment, along with greater acknowledgement off the broad impacts of HIV across the U. S. Population. Since 2020 scientific advances, advances have improved our understanding of transmission and have led to increasing awareness off the tools that are available to help stop the spread of HIV. So what's your story? Tell the community one thing that you can do to help end the HIV epidemic. Go to Gilead HIV dot com. Let me repeat it. Gil EOD h i v dot com and share your story. And finally, as we take a moment to reflect on our commitment to helping end the HIV epidemic. We'd like to encourage you to think about what each of us can do. There's something that everyone can do, so please take a moment. Go to Gilead. H i v dot com. I'll say it again. Gil EOD h i v dot com to share one thing. Z share Just one thing that you can do to help end the HIV epidemic. So as we begin today's conversation, I'd like to introduce you to our panel. They're wonderful people. Let's start with Cleve Jones. Cleaves is a human rights activist, author and lecturer. Mr. Jones is co founder of the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and founder of the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. Dante Morrison is a community change agent, motivational speaker and author. He also dresses very well. He currently works as associate director of the HIV Prevention Services and AIDS Project, Los Angeles Health and Wellness. Maria Roman Taylor son is a leading transgender rights advocate and actress. Yes, she currently serves as vice president and chief operation officer at the Trans Latin at coalition. So to my panel, let's get started. We're going to start by talking about the power of language. So, Dante, let's just start with you now you've been You've described yourself as an openly gay man living with HIV, who also happens to be an author, host of a podcast mentor, HIV advocate member off Kappa Lambda chat, shy military fraternity and a minister. Can you tell us how you use language and creativity as a minister? But I think I have an idea there, added. Dangerous within the church. I use language because I think it's it's how you present and I think often times we have when it comes to religion, spirituality, faith. It's the approach that creates that that resilience to just jumping in. And I have learned that when people get to know me as an individual, they see beyond all the stuff that they not supposed to like about me because they're now seeing my heart. Andi, I learned when people speak from sleeping, their heart articulate from their heart, you know, gang recognized game. And if I can make your baby leap like the Bible says make your baby leaf, then we're gonna be connected. And I think that once people learn that conversations can be life changing, and it's all about taking that time to sit with the individual, learn their story, hear their story and get up, get up understanding of their heart. You know, not the exterior in which you assume they are are not, but learn the heart of the person and see where they really come from. And I think that using that kind of approach and that kind of tactic will really break down so many of the walls and barriers and stigma that we're seeing as it relates to HIV. Absolutely. They say. You know, they've always said that you can't judge a book by its cover. You've got the right up and read it. It's a lot of beautiful books for blank pages out there. Who isn't that the truth? Books Blank, right? All right to anyone on our panel Care. How important is it for you as individuals impacted by HIV to be able to tell your own story and to hear the stories of others who may who may share their experiences of the world? How important is that? Anyone. Hi, everybody. Maria Roman, Thank you so much for having me on the panel, I think you know, definitely is critical to be able to really tell our own stories in our or narratives we've seen, you know, major black Buster movies when Oscars that we're told through people that were not Trans. And I think it's critical for people to be able to really, uh, tell their stories and use that as a way to to see people, for people to start seeing that we're just like everybody else that we want to have the same, um, you know, to drive just like any other human s. So I think it's important that Trans people have the right to tell our own stories. Everybody should be able to have the ability to other stories. Absolutely. Representation is so important. Cleve, what was your main motivation in writing your acclaimed book? When we rise, leave a mute yourself about it. Thanks for having me, and I hope you're all well and safe and your families they're all healthy on. Uh, Before I say anything, though, I want to acknowledge the memory of Dr Jonathan Mann, who was an administrator within the World Health Organization in the 19 eighties, and it was actually his idea to create World AIDS Day is an opportunity to join all of the people of all across the planet whose lives have been eso devastated by the epidemic and all of those who are fighting against it. And regrettably, he and his wife lost their lives in a tragic plane crash in 1989. But I've been thinking a lot of Dr Man today and his vision and his desire to help bring the world together, uh, to fight this horrible disease that, as we saw in the slide, still is with us today in a very dreadful way. Um, I was inspired to write my book by Anak Ter and director and activist named Rob Reiner. We were working together on the the court case to overturn the anti same sex marriage law, and here in California and after a long day in court, sitting on hard benches, I took him and his wife for a walk through the Castro neighborhood, and I was telling him all my stories, which is a zoo age. You'll find out you do love telling your stories. A 21 point he stopped me and he said, Cleave, you have to write a book on, but I thought, Okay, I'll write a book. And I started working on it and didn't get anywhere, and it was kind of beating myself up. And then, uh, one night I was thinking I was trying to go to sleep and I was trying. I was thinking, Well, why do I even want to write a book? Why bother? And then this kind of cold voice came into my head and it said, because the movement saved your life on that is true and with all the progress we've made, and I'm grateful to have seen so much happened in my lifetime. But I have no doubt that within a mile of where I'm sitting and within a mile where of where each of you is sitting right now there is some kid, a queer kid or a trans kid who is contemplating taking their life because they just don't see ah place for themselves in this world. And I was one of those Children. I was stealing pills from my parents medicine cabinet because at 15 I thought my life was over. And then I read in Life magazine about the Gay Liberation Movement and I flushed those pills down the toilet, and I hitchhiked to San Francisco. So when I say the movement saved my life, that's not rhetoric. It's not hyperbole. And it happened again in the nineties when I was dying of AIDS and had Pneumocystis pneumonia and act up, stormed the N. I. H and the FDA and got the medications released. That saved my life again. So that was my motivation. Oh, that's some good motivation right there on. I love the fact that you heard something that made you realize I am worthy off life and flush those pills down the toilet. So thank whatever spirit that was that came to you to any of the Panelists. I love the arts, but what is the value of the arts and creative expression and helping to raise awareness and tackle barriers of of stigma and discrimination that that continue to keep people out of care? Anyone, I think the arts are super important for one because it's an outlet, you know, and unfortunately, especially when it comes to inner city youth there not a lot of healthy and safe outlets. But we have so many artists out there, singers writers, painters, dancers. They just need somewhere to go and express themselves where they can feel safe with that expression and also have that that that gift nurtured on. But we can provide that and give that kind of space. It will elite it a lot of the other negative decisions that they want to do A because they're too tired to get caught up in some foolishness because they're really just doing what they love to do. But when we don't have the arts and we don't have that space to be creative, we find ourselves looking for other replacements. You know, what can I do to replace this? And sometimes it's not the best decision. So I think just having that ability to be creative and have your your creativity not only just applauded but just affirmed and having that village saying Wow, keep going, keep pushing, we got you do it. They'll they'll begin to increase their sense of self. And even as we get older, you know those of us who are artists and creatives, you know, it's nothing like being able to just express yourself and share with the village and the village is like we got you. We love it. It really just increase your self esteem and let you make better decisions about who you are as a person. I love it. You mentioned, you know, being acknowledged, especially when you hear that applause. And you know that people heard what it was you were saying. Maria Maria, talk about artistic activism. Remember me in red? There was the white film in which you starred, and it touches on the lack of acceptance by both family and society that transgender people often experience toe. What extent? How do you think that film and television can help shift these attitudes? I think he humanizes us. I think a lot of people have. I think now that we're more visible, people can, you know, even in little parts of the United States of the world, people can say that they know who trans people are. But for a long time we were sort of this invisible segment of the world that people did not know, and I think that as problematic as the jury Springer's could be for many people, it bought trans people and into people's homes. It began exposing people to to see who we are. Um, remembering me and red was the story of a trans woman who died and in is buried his dresses a man and is buried as a man in her death. Her whole identity is raised. Um, and not only was this a film that I got an opportunity to be part of, but it's stuff that has happened to my sisters over and over that we have experienced in turn that even after death, our whole entire identity iss just not respected. So I think we need to have these stories. Like I said before, told, um you know, we and about the arts, we we've been playing dressed up and created worlds where we're queens and kings to to heal our own community. I think the the ball seen drag all that came a Zaha way for us to really be able to express ourselves. And and I think it's critical and important that we continue to embrace youth and create spaces where they can thrive and be anything they want to be. Um, so I think it's critical. You know, when I look at this panel, you're all what I call artistic activists. You with acting, making your film Dante with With this the speech and and cleave with that quilt, which is, ah, whole art in itself. What are some of the other ways that we can use the arts to finally and this HIV epidemic once and for all? What can we do? New. We have to be innovative. Programming has to include the arts. You know, we've had, you know, we have been doing HIV work for over 20 years because I have to write my Trans woman. My sisters were dying and there was nobody that was really representing them. So for me, it's not something I chose for myself. It's something that I thought I had to do. But we've seen the same programming for over 20 years of support. Groups of people come, they get a gift card. We need to think outside of the box and create programming that includes There are that includes new alternatives for people to heal from the trauma and the fact that being a member of the LGBT community in any part of the world so they can be very challenging, and it's the traumatic experience just to walk outside of our house for many of us were on on, you know, fight and flight mode all the time. You know, we just heard of Laverne Cox being accosted and you know, so this is and he's getting attention because it is Laverne Cox. But this happens to LGBT trans people every day in horrendous ways. Art is a way to heal people. It's a way to be innovative of programming. And I think HIV programming should begin, including that as part of their curriculum and just add to what Maria says. I think that we need to allow the art to be loud. You know, everything is so safe. What we put out is just so cosmetically appealing. But art is risky, you know, art takes takes challenges. And I think when it comes to, like, you know, working in certain programs or certain, you know, organizations, it's always this fine line you don't wanna cross, you know. But if we're gonna really be reflective of what the communities look like and how we love and how we how our bodies are, we gotta be Lizza with this thing, we gotta be daring. We gotta be bold, you know? And it's time to just thio step outside the box and let those really creative let their voices be heard. Let their imagery we just shine boldly so people can begin to see that there is a culture out there that is so underserved and underrepresented. But when that artwork begins to just penetrate those systems, we'll see that we're all the same. We all bleed red, but we look different. And I think it's just it's time for us to change the imagery and the landscape of what we're just showing visually when it comes to the LGBT community when it comes to HIV, when it comes to relationships, couples, let's just show through art how love looks and love is not cookie cutter. We need a little scandal. Little taboo is, um, in there. Don't like to add to that that, um, the arts confused not just a za form of self expression or, uh, too. It's not just about being creative and feeling better and being represented. It's also about conveying information in ways that people can hear and understand. So that was a big motivation in creating the AIDS Memorial quilt was that we were our minds were being numbed by the statistics, and it was so impersonal and, uh didn't really convey. And I kept. I was, you know, in my neighborhood where over over 1000 of my neighbors had already died by 1985 there was no evidence of it. And so you could drone on and on about with the statistics and the numbers and the percentages. But then when you see the quilt laid out on the ground, you get a sense of, you know, my God, this is the space that would be covered if all the bodies were lined up. And I'm reminded of this a great deal right now with the current covert 19 situation and how appallingly difficult it has been to communicate common sense scientific information, uh, to ordinary people. And I think that we need to do a better job and doing that with art, with music, with poetry, with all of the different media could be very, very effective in communicating life saving information that could halt the epidemic. So it's not just about the self expression. It's about finding the proper vocabulary and mechanisms to communicate really important information. Absolutely. I'm cleave. I just want Thio. As we move into leading with resilience. I just want to ask you to what extent do you think the mission off ending the HIV epidemic is intertwined with L G B T Q plus rights. And where are we now in terms of that whole struggle? Mhm. Well, one could write a book about that and tried, uh, you know it, Zaveri. Interesting. We still think of it so much is, uh, frankly, a gay disease which is about as unscientific and bigoted is referring to Cove in 19 is a Chinese virus. So three overwhelming majority of people on this planet who have lost their lives were in, uh, in fact, heterosexual men and women and their Children, Uh, and in places in the world where still so many do not have access to the medications that are keeping me and many others alive. But in my community, uh, the effect of of HIV aids on our our political movement, of course, was was devastating. And while one doesn't want to try thio find, uh, a silver lining and a nightmare of this proportion, I wouldn't want to say one thing about the the result of marriage equality. There's a sort of, ah new kind of revisionist history going around. I noticed among some of the younger people who seem to believe that the focus on marriage equality was kind of imposed down on the community by the wealthy, mostly white gay men who ran the big national organizations. That's really not true. Right up until the Supreme Court ruling, most of the national organizations opposed going to the Supreme Court. Vehemently, they said we should wait for a better court. One could only imagine what would have happened if we had. But I think what happened was that America came to know her gay Children at the time of our greatest suffering, and people were moved by that and people were forced to come out of the closet to care for their loved ones, to to care for themselves. It was a time of extreme duress and suffering and great, great courage, and I think also we as queer and trans people also came to see ourselves in a different way. I was among those who never wanted marriage. It was not important to me. I was one of those who said, Oh, I don't need the state to, you know, approve of my relationship. It's it's just a little piece of paper. Well, during the course of the worst years of the pandemic, we came to understand how important that little piece of paper could be if you were denied the right to be by your lovers side. As he left this world, we I know people who lost everything because they didn't have that piece of paper and their partner of 20 years, 30 years passed away and they were thrown out on the street. And even more than that, more than the legalities of it in hospital visitation and those kinds of things was I think we came to feel in our souls. What do you mean? This isn't a marriage. This is exactly what a marriage looks like. If you can't see that, get out of the way, you know? So I think, uh, aids changed us profoundly in ways that are still evolving. And, uh uh, still affecting a now yet another generation coming up behind us. So it would be hard to overstate the impact. I mean, if I could also add, I you know, the the truth is that the majority of programming available for trans people today across the country it came from the HIV epidemic, Most of the programming today that in any way, capacity service, trans people that they came from, that we are now, um, moving to address some of the other issues because I think any issue any of those issues from employment, all those issues are HIV prevention, Um, which is another sort of discussion. But that is how trans programming came to be because as a result of the HIV epidemic Mm, Now this is some great conversation. When we talk about resilience, you know what it takes to keep moving on when leaving the workshop. The art of unloving Dante, you stated, My dream for black healing is that the stigmas surrounding mental health are eradicated from the black community. If we're going to heal our community, we need to make the process safe, welcoming and comforting for those who challenge themselves to seek out help. Whoa, That's deep on so many levels. How can language through writing, speaking and other art forms? You see, I keep going back to the arts, help feel less alone, feel more accepted and Mawr understood. Well, as as someone who grew up, you know, in the church And most blacks, you know, the core of the black community is the church, you know. And when you grew up in the church, you grew up in tradition. A religious tradition that kind of keeps you bound to certain beliefs, certain behavior, certain attitudes and anything outside of that that core focus is viewed as a sin or an abomination. Or or you're you're never going to get to the kingdom of God unless you operate within a certain parameter. And when I when I talk about mental health, you know, one thing I have learned as a black man is that black man that goes to church is that mental health is not pushed in a way where it is welcoming. Because when you grow up in the church, all you need is Jesus, you know you got a problem. You go to Jesus, give it to God in prayer, take it to the altar yada yada. If Jesus can't fix it, it can't be fixed, you know? And we don't push the fact that well, God made therapists. He created that college course for a reason, you know? And when I when I had that conversation, it was mostly because in the work that I do, I see a lot of underlying issues that relate to HIV infection. And we're always told, Give him a condom, give him a condom. Well, the condom is not the issue. The issue is Why Why would a person not want to use a condom if I'm gay? And my whole life has been suppressed in the closet are living on the down low? I hate that term. You know, a condom is me saying, Well, now I can't even be be physical here without a barrier. Every part of my life is a barrier. So I wanna remove the barriers, have just one moment of intimacy where I could be touched without something getting in the way. So when it comes to the church and mental health and creativity, we cannot stifle people in their ability to be gifted. We cannot. We cannot stifle people, you know, and what they want to do and how they want to advance and what they want to share, you know. So it's so important that if we have the church that we learned how to tie in the church with sexual health. With arts, with community, you know everything about politics. We can keep church and state separate. But we have to find a way to provide holistic care because people are walking around and we're only meeting half of their needs, their spiritual needs, air going unkept because of pushing them into therapy. The therapist is like, Well, let's not talk about religion because that's not in my wheelhouse. But religion is the reason why I'm here because I was bombed by religion. So it's so many components to a person living a full, robust, healthy life, and we gotta just find ways to pull that out and let that create a light shine. So they're not always painting in black. There's other colors in the crayon box. There you go. There you go. Like I said, deep on so many levels. Thank you. Thank you. So, Maria, we're talking about resilience here. We're talking about what it takes to keep going. As a trans woman. I'm sure you have faced some difficult life experience, not man. I'm sure not far unlike what Laverne experienced. You know, this past weekend. What is all of that taught you about remaining resilient as a woman, A transgender woman, and especially in a world that can be very trans phobic. What have you learned about being resilient? You know, I think resilience that comes from this death energy of survival, right that we have within ourselves. I think that as a trans woman, I'm gonna be 50 in a couple of years. I mean, a couple of weeks I'm gonna be 50 and I'm still in shock. So I say years because I wanna push it away. But I'm gonna be 50 in a couple of weeks. Um, on the vice president of a translator organization, that in itself is resiliency. I come from the street. I come from being a sex work. I come from being a homeless youth and throughout those horrible experience have been a victim of Ah, salt. Uh, lived many challenging moments in my life because my identity and living authentically doesn't come free in this country, you know, we pay a pride paid. I've paid a price to to be who I am. However, trans people are one of the most LGBT people are one of the most resilient people we have sort of this inner strength about who we are that fuels everything we dio. You know, I I living authentically for me, supersedes anything. And this is who I am. This is what has guided my entire journey to now 50. But with that, you know, I have to say that trans people continue to be murder out of line marine rates. The reason that I'm doing the work that I'm doing today is because, you know, 40 years later, youth continue to have some of the same experiences I had as a youth being thrown out of my house, not having the ability to have the basic things from having employment and providing for myself food and shelter. These things that many of us take for granted that can be so challenging for trans people. You know, I'm 6 ft two. I was really attractive, man. But that did not translate in what society considers beautiful or women. Lee. So I've had a really challenging time, but our spirits and resilience and what we have today is that we are are pulling our community off. We're creating programming to really support people. And that's what the Trans Latino Coalition dust is. An organization that is led by trans people people. Young people can come to our center, see trans people working, Um, and giving back to our community can come here. We can support them with employment. We can support them with programming, clothing, food, the basic things that they need and guide them through that process. And that's what we need. We need investment in trans, like three investment. We need equity within this society to be able to, uh, to have autonomy, credit programming to help our people. I Last summer, I was at, uh, Gay Couples house and as me and Bambi were sitting in their pool, you know, we were having a great time, and we realized that as empower Trans women that are leading on there were still behind many of us, our own property. Many of us don't have the same thing that our counterparts have, and that's what we want for our people. We want our people to have access and true equity within society. You mentioned Bambi, and I remember I remember Bambi back in the day with, uh, and Bambi was trying to let young young people of color. No. You know, you're all right. You're all right. You're good. I remember that. So Well, she's still doing that today. They Of course she is off course. Yeah. No, we all all of us share Ah, commitment to helping end the HIV epidemic. And so we're gonna move into that part of the conversation. So, Cleave, I just wanna ask you, can you talk about the origins of the names Project, the AIDS Memorial quilt and just how it has helped raise awareness around HIV and, you know, combating stigma? Well, sure I'd be happy to. I also want to join them in with a shout outs to Bambi. Um, uh, Bambi has been a very effective and helpful ally to the labor movement. I work primarily today with the Hospitality Workers Union. It's called Unite Here. And, uh, Bambi has been part of building a really powerful coalition that brought together labor, folks, LGBT people, African American youth, and worked on creating housing for workers. Job training programs for ah, young people of color. Job opportunities for transgender individuals. Bambi is a remarkable person. I'm I'm proud to call her a friend. Um, you know the quilt. I had the idea for the quilt in 1985 during the annual candlelight memorial for Harvey Milk and George Moscone E. Harvey had mentored me. I was in City Hall after he was shot and eso Every year we have that candlelight memorial, and as I mentioned earlier in by 1985 over 1000 people in my neighborhood had already died. Almost everyone I knew by 1985 was dead or dying or caring for someone who was dying and the world was ignoring it. And we had, ah, president who wouldn't speak of it. And we had, ah, lot of supposedly religious people telling us we were getting what we deserved. And the Republicans had bumper stickers that said, Aids, It's killing all the right people. And it was just a overwhelmingly horrible time. And I found that I, who had been an activist since high school against the war in Vietnam and, you know, marching the Cesar Chavez. I was always an activist kid, but I was starting to be paralyzed by the grief. It was just unending. Um, I could see this happening to other people that. And I thought, Well, we need to find a way to grieve together. We need to find a way toe creatively express our loss. We need to illustrate the lives and humanity that air behind the statistics. And we need to reach out and trust that most people are kind. And if we can find that right vocabulary and those right images in that right approach, maybe we can unleash that kindness that is hidden away in so many hearts. And so the quilt, it was never intended as a passive memorial. It was a weapon in the war against HIV. It was a weapon against stigma, which today even today hampers our ability to effectively respond to this pandemic. Uh, so we we took that quilt. Uh, we took it to Washington in October of 1987. A year and a day after my best friend passed away. His name was Marvin Feldman. I made the first quilt in his honor. Uh, when we got back, we discovered we've been on the front page of every newspaper in the world. People wanted us to bring the quilt to their communities. And so we bought a big truck named Stella, and I hired the meanest looking truck driver I could find. Her name was Deborah, and we loaded the quilt up and traveled all across North America. And for years and years and years, we took the quilt. To be displayed is the centerpiece for locally coordinated fundraising, an educational campaigns. And I think the fact that it was ostensibly not political. Of course, there was a profoundly political message that came out of the quilt, But we ended up being pretty much endorsed by the Pope and the President and the P t A. And we were able to take that message, uh, to all different kinds of communities all around the world and discovered a great deal of common ground. Despite our differences, it was, um, was very powerful. And I'm still grateful because for me, I I was so lost in hatred and despair and fear. I just hated the outside world. They were letting us die. I was so afraid of what was gonna happen to me and my body, and I just despair that that the government would ever respond that the world would ever react. And thanks largely to the quote that was. Those emotions were replaced with love and courage and hope. And God knows we need a lot of hope. Oh, God knows we need a lot of hope. For several years, we've had with divas simply singing pieces of the panel of the quilt as part of the event, you know, to raise awareness and one time particular which I'll never forget. My neighbor. You know how when you grow up, grow up in the black community, you're in church together. Your inquired together. You're in Girl Scouts together. Who's gonna be famous first And my neighbor, She died during the crack epidemic. Nobody talked much about her passing. I'm going to say it was about four or five years ago. I was in Atlanta with the quilt. Her parents asked me, could they join me at the quilt? And I was, you know, I was helping make different panels there because we were doing quilting to add names. Her parents joined me and they pulled me aside and they said, Cheryl, we wanna thank you for the work. And we'd like to do a quilt in Sheri's name. And it was so healing because her father died soon after that, and I think of that moment of her parents standing there putting those stitches on their daughter's name, who they never wanted to talk about. And they finally came to terms with their child's death. And I just yeah, that story, you know, when I had the idea, I was already fairly well known in activist circles in San Francisco. But everybody told me it was the stupidest thing they'd ever heard off. You know, that's too complicated. It sounds expensive. It's too morbid. Nobody SOS. Everybody thought it was a ridiculous idea. And I always want young people to know that. You know, if you ever come up with an idea and you it's burning in your heart and you know you have to do it even if everybody tells you it's the dumbest thing in the world just to go away and do your thing. Um, one of the most beautiful experiences we had during the years we were traveling with the quote was to go to Detroit and meet Mrs Parks there. Rosa Parks created quilt panels for families in her neighborhood in Detroit, and I got to go to church with her, you know, it's, um, in my town Theatrical American population has diminished from about 18% in the seventies to less than 2% now, and a great deal of that is due to gentrification and displacement in the housing crisis, which is a huge issue for people struggling to survive with HIV. But I think one of the stories that has not been told is the devastating impact of HIV AIDS on Thea African American communities around the country and particularly in my hometown of San Francisco in Oakland. I just don't think people really understand how many lives were lost. There were organizations in San Francisco like black and white men together that were hundreds and hundreds of people lost their lives. Its's. It's just there's so many parts of the story that are still continuing and still not fully understood. So, regrettably, our you know our work isn't done, it's not hardly done, and like you said, there's still more stories. We're getting close to the end off our conversation and I would just like to open the floor to each one of you to to share some closing remarks about about anything dealing with this HIV AIDS and World AIDS Day, please. Um I don't know. First, just I just wanna say that this is great. I love these conversations, but I I did a talk yesterday, and I told people I said, You guys, you do know that HIV, you know, has been around for decades and talking about it one day a year, you know, we gotta do better. My phone always starts to ring around mid November. You know, Dante, December 1st December 1st December 1st. I'm like, Well, I'm free in April. You know, we could talk about it in June, you know? You know, HIV will still be around, and I equate. Um You know, I I appreciate my love World AIDS Day, but it kinda reminds me of Thanksgiving. You know, we feed everybody the homeless on Thanksgiving and the day after, they're gonna be hungry again. Can we go back out the next day? So thank you. Thank you guys, for this conversation shell. Thank you for, you know, just always just being this Trailblazer and being a celebrity because we need more allies with your influence to really talk to people that are on the ground doing the work you know when I saw that Maria was gonna be on the panel, I was so excited because I watched from afar and I'm like, Wow, we don't cross paths a lot, but I admire the work. Then when I heard clean, I'm like, Yo, I saw the quilt for the first time last year with my organization had and hanging up for World AIDS Day. So I'm humbled to be in the company of such leaders. But I know that there's so much work that needs to be done. It's gonna take more than December 1st to get all the conversations out there. And I'll just be glad we can actually have normalized conversations about human sexuality where people are not skittish and squeamish. It's just like it's the thing that everybody's doing. Let's talk about it, you know? So I mean, I love this and I can't wait for for the next one before December 1st. Uh huh. Yes. Um, I want to say thank you to one. Giving me an opportunity to be part of this panel. It is an honor to be here with Cleave, Donta, and sure, you've been amazing. Thank you, Delia, to inviting me and giving trans people a seat at the table. A lot of times we don't get a seat, but I'm here and my voice is being heard by no means that I represent the entirety of the trans community where I don't. But I think it's important that we have a seat at the table on by messaging. To part is that, you know, we start looking at ways of providing innovative, um, ways of HIV prevention, including workforce development, re entry services. Housing is critical and also that we give Trans people who have worked in entry level positions across programming across the country as the Irish workers as the condom ladies, as the health educators, as the maintenance that we give people and opportunity to grow within the organization to have managerial positions to invest in providing apprenticeships. Internships that are given to trans people give trans people an opportunity to learn while doing the work. We need them in the front lines. We need meet more people who are trans at the decision making level and allow trans people to create innovative programming that that addresses the complexity of the needs that we have clean. What about you. Well, first I want to say the Maria. Don't worry about turning 50 30 66. Cry me a river on bond. And to that point and to the earlier conversation about resilience. Um, you know, I think one of the things that I'm most proud of is that I'm still doing it. I'm still here, and there's a reason for that. And it's because I love this work on. Duh. So I think we all need to do everything we can to encourage young people to identify what is their special gift that they bring to the struggle for peace and social justice and to save the planet. Our movements are all part of a larger movement, a bigger struggle that's gone on for generations and will continue for generations. Mawr and every one of us brings something special to that. We all have different gifts. We all have different ways of learning. We all have different ways of expressing ourselves, and I am just so fortunate that I've been able to find a way to do the work that brings me joy. Nobody needs to thank me for what I do. I love what I do it connects me to the most fantastic people. It has brought a purpose to my life and love to my life. And so I'm always trying to get young people to be part of our movement. Not by blaming and shaming and guilt tripping, but by raising them up. And tell them you know you are beautiful, Justus, you are. You have something wonderful inside you. And when you find that gift, not only will you be furthering very important cause, but you will be enriching your own life in ways that are difficult to overstate. So I just hope that anybody that might hear that message would be encouraged to look within themselves and really try to discern what is that amazing thing that you could bring to us all? Oh, I love the way you say. And what is that amazing thing that you could bring to us all? And you all have been so amazing. I'm gonna lean on you just a little bit to bring mawr to this conversation. So I just wanna ask you, ask you this. You know, we've got this new pandemic, this cove, it 19 going on, and we all remember we're all old enough. Well, Dante, kind of sort of old enough to remember what happened back in the day. What are some of the parallels and some of the crosshairs you all see and remember right now between the two? Well, I'm 48 so I'm kind of their uh, yeah. Oh, you look like a baby way. Should start with the most obvious parallel. Um, yeah, both. Both pandemics began with a president who did not perceive the gravity of the situation and failed to act and squandered precious time that cost, uh, incalculable cost of lives. Obviously, the diseases are very different in the way they present in the way the virus works on our bodies. But the parallels in the similarities air really disheartening the denialism, the denial of science, the denial of common sense, the the desire to who say this only happens to other people. So therefore, I need not be concerned. Back in the day, it was Oh, it only happens to gay people. And we don't really like gay people. And then we discovered that it happened to black people and, well, that's not so terrible. And, oh, it happens to sex workers and immigrants. Okay, well, you know, and then here. I mean, I'm old now, and the language from some of these people about how disposable I am because I'm 66. I'm disposable. I don't think I'm disposable. I think I have a lot more to dio the importance of understandable messaging from the leaders of the country. And what happens when you don't get that is just a calamity. Three importance of contact Tracing the importance of testing. Uh, there's just so many parallels. And perhaps the most dis heartening of all is to see once again the racial disparities getting played out in a way that is unconscionable. Unforgivable. So this epidemic, the first pandemic I had to go through was first identified in the coastal cities, primarily among gay men. And then where did it settle? Where has it still settled? It goes to the south, goes toe communities of color, and it's just being played out again. And it just, uh it's heartbreaking. And really, it's it's pretty damning of our society. So, uh, I have, uh, this last year for me. I try to avoid jargon, but I'll tell you, I am triggered. I am so triggered by all of this to see it, to see the same old stuff going down again. Unbelievable. I think also the lack of caregivers, right? I think when we think of people getting sick like really, really sick, many members of the LGBT community don't have sort of this support system of people that can come in, you know, And it's something that we hear the translating a coalition have been trying to implement sort of support system that people that will take care of folks who are really sick when it comes to sheltering a place where you're going to shelter. If you're homeless, if you don't have somebody is going to give you some Thailand, whatever it is that your basic means are to be ableto hell, um s so that we saw that the people did not have family that would take care of them. On day, we've developed and created our own new families to translate. The coalition has given over $250,000 to trans in small grants to members off the trans community behind the vision of again this family since it has been hustling and really just out there. Giving resource is for us to be able to support people who lost their jobs, who have, like I said, nobody to take care of them while they were sick. And we've had some deaths within our community. Um, so it's an ongoing challenge and and cool the next can of this. Right now we have a trans women that we know that is in the Los Angeles more. And we're having challenging off. How do we claim their body if we don't have a next step? Candid Daniel family. And we see this over and over again. And you, Dante, would you? I was just I'm reflecting on just the power of media. So create frenzy because I just noticed. I mean, I was in the I think, seventh grade six or seven grade. You know, when AIDS was first introduced, Andi, I remember it was so many mixed messages about who get it. You know who's at risk and who is this? Who is that? So as a little boy, I was like, Well, this one, this one affect me because I'm not a part of that population, you know, little did I know I would grow into that population, you know, But But at the time, I was like their talking to someone that does not look like me doesn't reflect me. I can't identify. You know, I'm not white at the time. I'm like, I'm not gay, you know? So this is not for me. Fast forward to you know, when cove it started, the news started coming out like please said just the messaging and the marginalization. You know, it was never just a human situation. It was always If you fall into this category, you need to be on guard. And then as time progressed, we see that all our at risk similar to HIV, everyone is at risk. If you if you behave a certain way, our do certain things, you are at risk. So the parallels are about safety, about how we navigate through the pandemic, you know, and I just notice how the media has so much power to just create these messages and this fear that is perpetrated throughout the communities. And nobody comes into clear it up. And by the time we do get some kind of solid information, everyone is so anxious and so on edge. They're like I don't know who to believe because no next Working, saying the same thing. Well, I think that underscores the need for riel national leadership. And let's just hope we get it. And that January 20th, uh, brings a real change. But, you know, the problem here has come from the top from the very first moments from the first news out of Wuhan, this president has done everything he could possibly we do to deny science, to confuse and to divide people and to scapegoat the people on the front line of the pandemic. Another thing that I'm puzzled about and interested to see how it develops. Um, clearly, we're getting close to some vaccines. We don't know how long the vaccines will work, though, so it may be a situation where every year, like with the flu, we have to get a new shot. And thus far we're only seeing the beginnings of the creation of a movement around this illness. So, with HIV AIDS, you know, the first first news we got of it was in the Centers for Disease Control, Morbidity and Mortality Weekly report in June of 1981. Uh, that's a grim anniversary coming up this summer. 40 years? Um so But the activism at the beginning was pretty much just focused on care for individuals, people who were facing housing challenges, people, the body program. There was no treatment. Um, it was a death sentence, but by 1985 he began to see much mawr political organizing and the timeline. We saw the beginning of this program I thought was very good. 87. It was a real watershed year in the creation of the quilt on act up. So I'm very interested to see how communities move this forward because even if the vaccines were 100% effective, they only work if they get in people's arms. And there's equitable distribution and the people that need it most get it first. And there's no politics with it. S o. Uh, there's a young woman I've been very impressed with. Some of you may have seen her on the Democratic National Convention, and Kristen, your quiza uh, she's a young woman whose father passed from cove it and she spoke and she said the only underlying condition he had was that he believed Donald Trump and hey wouldn't wear a mask. He went to a karaoke night and didn't wear a mask. And she loved her father very much. And she has begun creating a network called Marked by Co vid. And I worked with her a little bit on some projects Ah, a couple of months ago and we're starting to see the emergence of a real movement here in community building all across the country, families who have lost loved ones, people who got sick early on and are now experiencing lingering symptoms, the long haulers We're gonna need a real push for continued research. We're going to need to push very, very hard Thio to try to to mitigate as much as we can the disproportionate impact on black America and the Latino communities. It's just this is the the death rate. The infection rate is just so much higher. And so those of us who have been part of the HIV AIDS struggle, I think have important lessons for people to to least attempt to her here about and learn from. And I'm grateful that the AIDS Memorial quilt is back in San Francisco and under new leadership, which is determined to say you know this isn't just a dusty relic. This is as relevant today as it was back then. Um, so I think that's something that we can all look you know, wait for and hoped for and try to facilitate is the building of a real movement around the response to covert 19. It will be different from what happened with HIV AIDS, but the similarities air so stark and it's just so necessary. You know, it's so interesting when I when I think about some of the similarities, I think about masks and I think about condoms and I think about how when they came out with condoms saying, Look, this is a proven barrier to the disease could we get people to use them? Could we get women to carry them? Could we get women to touch them? Oh, it does, men. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't fit. It doesn't This And I was like, Lord, have mercy. HIV AIDS is Does that feel better now? You've got people with the mask. I don't wanna wear it. I can't breathe. It doesn't fit my jaws too big. I'm like, really being on the what the you want that tube down your throat. That's really what you want. People are. People are just so set in just doing what they want, it seems at times and not following the science. But anyway, that's just what I see. We're having this great conversation, all of us, so very different and so very much alike. How important is it for people to live their lives out loud? How important is it to be able to be a part off society just as you are who you are, what you are? I think it's critical, like I said before. But I think it comes at a price for many of us. And I think that we need to have programming that supports people as they're navigating, living authentically because in essence, as we you know, we continue to see people sort of celebrate coming out day and, you know, today world, anything. But do we, with the same, um, intense share the ongoing pandemic of murderers of trans people in Puerto Rico or around the country? So I think there is surprised that people are living are paying for living authentically. We need more resource is to support people as they make the decision that, regardless deprives, they have to pay that they will live their lives as they so fit. Um hmm. That's a bold statement, but I love it. So here we are. And I just want to ask each of you because I know you've got so much to share. What are some of the lessons of history that's happened in the past? What can we apply to the next chapter off our efforts to end this HIV epidemic? What can we do? I think that's a That's a great question. I know one thing for certain is to continually pull in allies. Um, some of my most powerful conversations have been when I've had a heterosexual HIV negative black man beside, you know, because me walking into a space, you know, they're already gonna say, OK, well, you're you're black, You're gay. Of course you know about HIV. Of course you're gonna talk about it. But when I have one of my brothers, you know, standing next to me saying, No, fellas, listen, This is important because all of us air having experiences that could put us at risk. So just because you're not gay does not mean you're not at risk for HIV, so I think it's so important. Like in times past, I know that when messaging started to shift, you know, like when Magic Johnson came out positive, that shifted conversations, you know, because he was not the typical person we would assume to have HIV similar. Thio easy When we start pulling in, people that don't fit the mold, you know, toe have these conversations, then we'll get a different audience because right now a lot of us are preaching to the choir. We're talking to folks that are already highly educated, you know, And like Maria said earlier, we're getting people that are just coming to our groups to survive. They can run the group. They know what the group is about, but they need that gift card to survive. But how do we get people that that don't need are are supportive services but still need to know the information? How do we reach those audiences how to reach those kids on college campuses that don't fit into the mold of a of a homeless gay youth, you know, but they go to USC, but they're still doing the same exact things that would put them at risk as the kids that they're looking at saying, Oh, I'm not like you, so I'm not going to catch it, you know? So we have to begin to get those allies to share these conversations, to share these these town halls and to be out there and be a voice, because, like we all said, this work, if you're not resilient, it will burn you out and you will feel so unappreciated, you know? So we have to begin to pulling people that can help help hold our arms up in times of war. E I would say that the future for trans people is translate. We need innovation. We need true investment in the leadership of trans people so we can develop, run, execute our own programming. Things, as they have been for the last 30 40 years, can continue. We need innovation. We need mental health supported. We need work for development. We also need to be part of the ongoing efforts that are happening within LGBT, even for marriage equality, which we discussed earlier. You never saw trans people as part of that discussion. They were not part of the image entry. They were not part of the people speaking about how important marriage equality. Yes, for for folks, you know, as a trans woman. You know, um, it matters to me that I'm able Thio marry my partner and that it is legal no matter what state I'm in. So But I think because we've been in survival mode for so many decades, we have not been included in this conversations. And we need to have a seat at every table that is available. All right, Cleve. No, I'm a little old school. I admit I believe in the larger movement on I think that each of us, to some extent, represents communities. Um, but I I think it's important to remind each other that we can have all of the diversity and inclusion you could imagine and still not have justice. Great. I would push back a little bit on the imagery of having a seat at the table. There are some tables up in which I do not wish to sit, and I certainly don't want to sit at the table piled with food while thousands of people stand outside hungry. So I think for all of us who talk about living authentically and the importance of inclusion and diversity. Yes, these are all very, very important. But it's not the whole story. Um, I heard mostly admittedly mostly white gay men talking about how happy they were. Toe have a seat at Donald Trump's table. I did not want a seat at that table. I want to smash that table. So I hope that in all of our work, in all of our efforts to work specifically for some of the most vulnerable communities out there, we can continue Thio keep our eyes on the larger struggle. A struggle in which, uh, we don't see each other necessarily is allies, but all actually in it together. I think that's part of why I've been so grateful to work for the last 15 years within the labor movement within. Unite here, unite here is ah, it's service industry workers. Think of the people that clean your rooms in the hotels, the food service, people most. Most of our members are women. Most of people of color, uh, immigrant people, tons of LGBT people on. We've managed to build a really strong, progressive, multiracial movement that doesn't isn't a ashamed toe shout for trans rights and for everything else we need to do and we bring our folks together and it's around this issue that you know we don't want. We don't just want representation. We want better pay. We want better health care. We want housing we can afford. We want good education for all of our kids. And I would hope that we could, as the new administration takes office, that maybe we could have more of a sense that there's a lot more that we share than what divides us. I think that's a perfect way to end this conversation. Got something go right ahead. Go right ahead. I agree with you clear. I think I think you're right. There is tables that I do not want to sit and I think many Trans people would not want to say, But I think is what I mean having a seat at the table. Many of us don't have access. We don't have access to certain donors. We don't have access to celebrities. You know baby is one of the most influential trans people in the country and there's tables that she is not able to be part of there's access that she doesn't have when it comes to donors that perhaps a glad awards would have. We're counting nickels and pennies to be able to feed our people. So I agree with you that I that I hope that we can do some ongoing coalition buildings. But we need support. To be able to have access to the same resource is other folks. Our has been part of their own going 30 40 plus years of doing HIV work that they have. We don't have access to that. So that's what I really mean to give us space to lift us up to give us a seat at the same table you're getting. Resource is from that we have a bidding opportunity to get some of that coin. That's really right, girl, let me tell you, you just hit that nail right on the head, and it's very interesting because I honestly believe that through this whole first year off Cove it 19, those covers have been pulled off. And like you said, there have been people out here doing this work for 30 40 years, getting overlooked, who got access to nothing just because of who they are. But today I just want to thank all of you for joining me. I wanna thank you for speaking out loud. I thank you for your truth. I thank you for your resilience. I think. Thank you for your commitment. I thank you to care from I thank you for carrying on when many people would have stopped because I don't care what anybody says. This is some hard work, and I thank you for gathering here today. Lord, I can't get my words out. You got the so e thank you for gathering me here on this 32nd annual World AIDS Day. And I thank Gilead Sciences for making this program possible today with all of us, you know, the ultimate goal is to put HIV and its impact in the past behind us. With a brighter future in front of us. It is to see the age of H I V just come to an end and together let us not rest until we reach that day. So I've done all of you diva divinely inspired victoriously awesome. And I thank you for sharing this with me. Thank you. Everybody at Gilead have the great and blessed rest of your day today. Thank you all. Bye bye. Created by